Acharei Mot. Self Care as Social Responsibility

Today is day 26 of the counting of the Omer 

הוד שבנצח Hod she be netzach.

As many words in the hebrew language, hod and netzach have several meanings.

Hod refers both a form of humility, acknowledgment, and gratitude.

From there comes the world hodaya, gratitude to the divine.

It’s one of my favorite words in the hebrew language.

Netzach means both eternity, and victory.

To me, the combination of both points exactly to what we do in meditation practice: when we sit in humility and gratitude, we sit in eternity. 

And this is the ultimate victory in front of our own ego.

No matter what our egos struggle with, they all have this in common: they struggle to simply being present. 

Not that the present moment is always easy.

Today is day 581 of the war, and of the captivity of the hostages.

My country is at war.

A war that is endless, the longest war since the proclamation of the state of Israel in 1948. The most deadly one, for all sides.

And the most cruel one, by far.

A part of my people wants the war to keep going. Most of those who want this are precisely those who do not send their children to fight.

And each day the hostages are more and more at risk.

I saw yesterday the photo of Tamir Nimrod, published by the Israeli army. They expressed concern for his fate.Tamir is a kid who believed in coexistence. 

He was in an Israeli-Palestinian basketball team. He had learned Arabic. He believed jews and muslims could live together in a land they both consider as theirs, each according to their own narrative.

Tamir has been kept in a tunnel in chains for 576 days now.

I have no words.

I also saw a photo of Ari Shpitz. Another smiling kid, just twenty one years old on October 7. 

In the photo taken not long ago, we see him with a beautiful smile, sitting in a chair, raising his arms in an enthusiastic embrace of life.

One arm is made of plastic with a hook at the end of it, the two legs are prosthetics high from the beginning of the thighs, and on the one remaining limb, the left hand, the thumb is missing and I’m not sure about the last two fingers.

I don’t know what to say.

I just want to do like Aharon, a couple of parashiot ago.

Staying silent.

Too much suffering.

Too much death.

Too many words thrown carelessly from every side on the global stage.

Aren’t we in the period of the counting of the Omer, a time where precisely, we are invited to mourn in our bodies the disasters caused by hatred speech?

Parashat acharei mot means “After the death.”

Now that Aharon had time to mourn the death of his sons Nadav and Avihu, he receives instructions regarding offerings and rituals to do, so that he, and his descendants, won’t die.

Then we too, receive instructions: the commandement of Yom Kippur is at the beginning of our Parasha.

So from Aharon’s individual korban chatat (sin offering)  to our collective fast on the day of expiation, the whole beginning of our parasha is,about atonement, kapara. 

And for the Sfat Emet, there is a connection between Aharon’s individual Korban and his service for us, between our Yom Kippur, and our calling to serve the World.

It is about tikkun, literally repair, read here as self care.

The Sfat Emet reads these rituals in the light of one of the most beautiful psukim of the mishna, the Pirkei Avot, which we read in this time of year, in between Pessach and Shavuot

"If I am not for myself, who will be for me? 

And when I am for myself, what am I? 

And if not now, then when?"(1.14).

 אִם אֵין אֲנִי לִי, מִי לִי. וּכְשֶׁאֲנִי לְעַצְמִי, מָה אֲנִי. וְאִם לֹא עַכְשָׁיו, אֵימָתַי:

The Sfat Emet doesn't stop there. He suggests reading these instructions in the light of the three dimensions our world is made of according to Jewish Mysticism:

Olam (the World/space), shana (the Year/time), nefesh (the soul/being).

To him, the first part of the Pirkei avot’s teaching: the imperative of ‘being for myself”, self care, corresponds to Nefesh.To him this is tikkun atsmi: doing our own tikkun, repair. 

The second part of the passuk: not being “just for myself”-  corresponds to Olam: the world: it speaks to our responsibility to take care of others.

In a jewish mystical perspective, tikkun olam, the repair of the world, happens by way of tikkun atsmi- my own healing.

This means working on myself is a social responsibility. I owe this to the world.

Just as Aharon the priest is here to serve Life Source for us, so too, each of us are called to serve Life, for the goodness of each other and “kol ha briah”-all of creation, says the Sfat Emet.

This is why in our parasha, Aharon starts by bringing an offering for his own atonement, before proceeding  to the rituals meant to atone for his people.

And the last part of the teaching of the Pirkei Avot, the Sfat Emet reminds us, points to this additional responsibility: to not delay the work.

This is “shana”- time. There is no time, he tells us.

The time is now.

Reading this in the light of this painful war comes as yet as another wake up call. 

Spiritual practice is not a horizon. It is an ethical imperative, and the calling is right now.

The time is now.

We all have a part to play in the way the world is going- in the way the world can go.

This starts with inner work.

And if not now, then when?